This Just in: Dolphins Have Lesbian Sex

Science has made a discovery we already knew in our hearts was true: female dolphins are lesbians. Well, they can be… and often are. They also experience sexual pleasure, whether that be during copulation, lesbian sex, or masturbation! Power vibes!
The Current Biology journal released a study that found female dolphins have clitorises similar to humans, they can give and receive sexual pleasure, and they often choose to do so with the same sex. “Clitoral stimulation seems to be important during female–female sexual interactions in common bottlenose dolphins (Tursiops truncatus), which rub each other’s clitorises using snouts, flippers, or flukes,” the study reads.
That’s why they have the time of their lives flipping and flopping around in the ocean! Not only do they have limited predators chasing after them –humans are most dangerous to the species– but they also get to have lesbian sex and enjoy it, while taking in beautiful oceanic sites.
There are always skeptics when the discussion about animal sexual pleasure comes up. How did they test it, after all? “Determining a sexual pleasure response in animals not amenable to neurobehavioral examination is difficult, but investigation of the clitoris may elucidate evidence of functionality.
“In this study, we assessed macro- and micromorphological features of the clitoris in common bottlenose dolphins to examine functional features, including erectile bodies with lacunae, extensible collagen and/or elastin fibers, and the presence and location of sensory nerves.”
The researchers collected excised clitorises from 11 naturally deceased female dolphins. After examining “the presence, shape, and configuration of erectile bodies, and the innervation of the clitoris using gross dissections,” –among other things – They found that the organs were fairly close to the human clitoris: “Our anatomical examination of the clitoris of the common bottlenose dolphin reveals a complex organ with many similarities to the clitoris of other species known to have sexual pleasure, including humans.
Dolphins also don’t need no man… or woman. They can have it out on their own! “Our study suggests that female dolphins likely experience pleasure when the clitoris is stimulated during copulation, homosexual behavior, and masturbation.”
Most importantly, can they orgasm? “Understanding the phylogenetic history of sexual pleasure may elucidate the role of female orgasm. Our study is a novel approach to test the functionality of the clitoris of non-model animals when neurobehavioral examination is not feasible.”
Patricia Brennan, one of the researchers involved in the discoveries, said to NewScientist that the hypothesis was originally about how dolphins’ vaginal folds aid in reproduction but the biologists found more than they intended to. “…When we dissected the vaginas, I [looked] at these clitorises and [was] just amazed. I was like: “Oh my gosh, these are pretty big, well-developed clitorises.” And I thought that might be something interesting to look at.”